...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
