How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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