Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
