Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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