Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
