Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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