my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
