i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
