Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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