C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
