eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
