"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Alive.
So much puke
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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