I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
