i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
