i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
