this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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