No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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