I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We had sex on a dog bed..
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
