just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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