Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
