getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
