Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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