Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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