I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
