is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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