where am i from again
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
