why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
