after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize