Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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