Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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