Taylor Swift is so right about you.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
