Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
