i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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