First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
