He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
