So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
