Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
