Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
