If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
