i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
