All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
