Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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