shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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