Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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