I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
