put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
