Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
