Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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