I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize