What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
