I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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