Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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