also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize