Sry I called you an 8
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
