I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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