I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
