I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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