dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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