i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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