dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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