Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I understand Curling. That high.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
