chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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